InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "theres naught so queer as folk"

Tousaki Ryouma (fallen_ryouma) wrote,
@ 2008-02-21 11:39:00

I should invest in citrus plantations
I am AWESOME. Brilliant, undoubtedly. Genius, possibly. (Sensei would disagree, but Hyuuga're always full of it.)

Anyway. Tsume, you'll be happy to hear my karma is totally balanced. I've gone through about a crate of oranges--and the morgue guys told me next time I came around had better be on the far side of never--but I've managed to run another jutsu at the same time as the Nikutai Tokasu and the Nikutai Hakai. Not sure I could do it at the same time as the Naizou Tokasu, but that one doesn't smell so bad anyway. ~~Just makes people vomit up their inner organs, and no, I swear I wasn't using it on you.~~

Not sure I'm gonna call it the Happy Citrus Jutsu, but it's a thought.

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It still smells kinda like rotting oranges, but I think I'll have it down by next week. Not being able to work in the morgue is a problem, though. Somebody mentioned they have labs here at HQ. Wonder if I could get into one of them...

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Anyone know the rules for getting into the labs here?

And is it scarier to melt people while smelling of oranges, or just kinda ridiculous?

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fallen_tsume
2008-02-22 02:40 am UTC (link)

Ahhh, good to hear you won't be karmically out of whack, Coyot! Though Naizou Tokasu probably smells just as bad, for your information. Someday I'm gonna find something comparable, I swear...

If you call it the Happy Citrus Jutsu, you could just kill your opponents with laughter. Think about it.

And who cares if it's scarier to melt them while smelling like oranges or not? They're gonna be melted regardless! Your teammates will thank you. I'll buy you dinner. It's worth being ridiculous.

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	fallen_ryouma 2008-02-23 01:57 am UTC (link)
	Well, the results of the Naizou Tokasu are all sort of contained inside, so at least not as...violent? Maybe. It's more liquid-y than melt-y. I don't practice it outside of combat conditions, though, so maybe you won't have to run into it. Y'know, you shouldn't make an offer like that if you don't mean it. 'Cause I'm gonna take you up on it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fallen_tsume 2008-02-23 02:12 am UTC (link)
	If they're vomiting it up, it probably smells. In fact, it definitely smells. In fact, it might smell worse because it's mixed with bile. Unless the bile is melted, and I don't want to know how that smells. Let's hope I don't have to run into it. Ha! I'm used to feeding Kuromaru; you're nothing. Bring it on, Ryouma! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fallen_ryouma 2008-02-23 06:56 am UTC (link)
	Okay... That was kind of an exaggeration. I've seen a handful of guys last long enough to actually throw up. Most of 'em don't have the inner organs left to act on it. So I don't think you've gotta worry about it. I bet I weigh more than Kuromaru. Could quite possibly out-eat him. :D (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fallen_tsume 2008-02-24 05:08 am UTC (link)
	You just don't want to have to learn to do the Happy Citrus Jutsu while doing your organ melting bit. Admit it. Ha! He's a wolf; he can GORGE. And you're probably about tied in weight, really... ;) (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fallen_ryouma 2008-02-24 05:27 am UTC (link)
	Next guy whose organs I've gotta melt, I'll try it. But it's your fault if I lose control and blast orange-scented body parts everywhere. So? I'm a 22-year-old guy. A ninja, even. I refuse to be beaten. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fallen_tsume 2008-02-24 06:29 am UTC (link)
	Hey, at least they'll be orange-scented! I will take that blame. Good point! I take back the challenge. You totally couldn't eat Kuromaru under the table ~~because the two of you trying might break me~~. So you don't even have to worry about attempting it. Really. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fallen_ryouma 2008-02-24 07:08 am UTC (link)
	But you promised me dinner anyway. I'll hold you to it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fallen_tsume 2008-02-24 07:27 am UTC (link)
	I wouldn't back down on that kinda bargain! Of course, you'll owe me big-time if your Happy Citrus Jutsu doesn't work... (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fallen_ryouma 2008-02-25 01:41 am UTC (link)
	Gimme two weeks in the lab to get it down, and you'll be breathing vitamin C. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fallen_tsume 2008-02-25 05:13 am UTC (link)
	In that case, in two weeks I'll take you to dinner! Start thinking about what you want! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	fallen_ren 2008-02-22 07:32 pm UTC (link)
	To get into any closed off area, you have to fill in about 100 forms. Unless, of course, you get someone with access to the labs to let you in. I'd try a medic. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	fallen_ryouma 2008-02-23 02:00 am UTC (link)
	Forms? Yuck. Guess I'll just go exercise my consummate charm. You wouldn't happen to have access, would you? (Reply to this) (Parent)

fallen_ginta
2008-02-24 10:26 pm UTC (link)

You're adding a zesty orange zing to your nasty-ass jutsu? I don't know... My recollection is that part of the effectiveness of your jutsu is the degree to which it horrifies any teammates of the deceased. I think the odor is part of that.

Although yeah, as a bystander to the thing, I'll admit to having to do a little work to keep from tossing my cookies the first time or two I saw you use it. And disabling your teammates with backlash from your jutsu is never acceptable.

Well, chump, I think it's a tossup. Tell you what though. I know someone who knows someone who can not only get you into the jutsu lab, but get you your own room. And you'll definitely want your own room in there, cause the guys who are just trying to work on improving some Suiton no jutsu or other will undoubtedly not be to happy to have Rotten-Orenge-y-Corpse with Spare Body Parts no jutsu making them heave every time they accidentally glance into your corner of the communal lab.

Hmm, but of course there's no free lunch. So how badly do you want that lab space?

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fallen_ryouma
2008-02-25 12:13 am UTC (link)

I don't think I'm gonna be using it much; it's kind of a chakra drain, for one thing, and you're right about the other. But I figure if I ever go on a mission with Tsume, say, I'd rather the other guy be a little less horrified than that my own teammate vomit to death. ~~Kakashi can look out for himself.~~

The lab would be awesome, though. I still got a lot of fine-tuning to do before it's usable, and it'd be nice to have a jutsu finished, for once, before I try it in combat. I wouldn't need it for long. Just another week or so.

I dunno how many favors you'd have to call in for this, but I know someone who makes a mean chocolate cream pie. Seem to recall chocolate being one of the things you'd miss if you died.

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fallen_ginta
2008-02-25 01:28 am UTC (link)

Tsume, huh? You know Tsume? Yeah I'd actually just as soon you don't make her vomit to death either. ~~Or Kakashi, if you can help it, even if he can look after himself.~~ Vomiting to death has to be a nasty way to go. I'll take old age in my lover's arms, please.

Chocolate pie, hmmm? For two week access to the lab? You make a persuasive argument. But is it light chocolate or dark chocolate. It does make a difference, you know.

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	fallen_ryouma 2008-02-25 01:40 am UTC (link)
	She's the one who got me working on this jutsu, actually. Kicking my ass in a spar, so I showed her why I don't use jutsu in practice. Melted a mouse. The results weren't fun for anyone. I don't think old age would be any more fun, though. Blind and deaf and senile? I'd rather go out in a blaze of glory. Chocolate's not worth eating if it's not dark. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

fallen_ginta
2008-02-25 01:48 am UTC (link)

She puked because of a mouse? I guess it's the Inuzuka sense of smell thing. Which would explain the oranges. That's a good idea. Are you using genjutsu for the scent aspect?

My grandfather was old, and he wasn't senile or blind or deaf when he died. Actually he died in battle, so it is possible to be an old ninja. I mean, look at Sandaime-sama.

Glad to see you're a right-thinking man. I'll see what I can do about that lab access. Let me know when you have acquired pie.

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fallen_ryouma
2008-02-25 02:02 am UTC (link)

Well... Then I took her to the morgue and tried to desensitize her. I'm not sure it worked. Which is why I'm working on the citrus thing. Hadn't thought of using a genjutsu, actually--ninjutsu always comes easier to me. Seems more solid, I guess. More real.

Okay, they got lucky. I'm not planning on that. If I make it to old age, I'm gonna be a pirate. Seems like more fun.

I'll start sweet-talking Morimoto now. Should have results by tonight.

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fallen_ginta
2008-02-25 06:09 am UTC (link)

So you're physically manifesting citrus oil or something? That seems like a lot bigger of a chakra drain than layering a genjutsu on top of the ninjutsu would be. But that's just me. Genjutsu's kind of my thing, after all.

With an eye patch and everything? Yarrrr. Yeah, you'll make a good pirate. I saw a pirate movie the other day you'd probably like. Legend of the Skull of Katomi. There were lots of manly pirates and a beautiful woman in distress and a dashing pirate hero to rescue her. It was awesome.

...

Morimoto. As in the cafeteria's Morimoto? Did you accidentally touch your tongue when your jutsu was activated and destroy your tastebuds?

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fallen_ryouma
2008-02-25 04:37 pm UTC (link)

I can do genjutsu solo, but if I'm gonna be layering one jutsu on top of the other, they'd better both be ninjutsu. Or else you're gonna be having some really weird hallucinations.

I could totally be a dashing pirate hero. Sounds like I need to watch this movie in preparation. Is it in the theater? ~~We should do a group date!~~

Morimoto likes me. He's brilliant with food when he knows people are gonna, y'know, care about it! He only poisons people when they insult him.

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fallen_ginta
2008-02-26 12:12 am UTC (link)

Yeah I guess maybe layering dissimilar types isn't the easiest thing in the world. Still it's a really useful skill if you can learn it. Let me know if you want to spar sometime and try it out.

Yep, it's still showing in town. ~~You got a hot prospect? I have a mission on Friday and a dinner date on Sunday, but Saturday is wide open. Are you gonna play matchmaker and hook me up, too, or am I providing my own date?~~

I have never insulted Morimoto-san ~~to his face~~. But I pretty much don't eat in the caf. Had a bad experience with some frittata thing right before a mission a while back. You ever tried to hide in the shadows with cramps and the toxic gas from hell? I mean, yeah I had a decent genjutsu going masking my presence, but you can't really genjutsu yourself without a lot of risk, so I still had to smell it. Ugh. Also it's a hell of a lot easier to make a jutsu to make people think they smell something than it is to make them think they smell nothing. And cramps kind of play hell with your focus.

But if you vouch for him, I'm willing to consider it. Maybe it was one of his apprentices who cooked those eggs.

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fallen_ryouma
2008-02-26 04:53 am UTC (link)

I'll work on this for a bit, but if it doesn't work out, I'll be knocking at your door.

~~I have a potential. If she would ever stop laughing at me. But I might need to work on that one a bit more. Do you have something in the works, or should we go wild and each set each other up?~~

That roaring sound you may be hearing is totally me laughing my head off at you and your pansy-ass stomach. And I don't think it's so much that you need to insult Morimoto; the kitchen kind of takes it for granted that ANBU hate them and they hate us back. But if you ask nicely and offer sexual favors, they'll bend over backwards for you.

~~I'm kidding about the sex, by the way. But that kid Kotetsu totally believed me.~~

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