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Tousaki Ryouma ([info]fallen_ryouma) wrote,
@ 2008-07-01 00:07:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:porn video, psa, taking contributions in the corner

[February 19] Public Service Announcement
[Scene: The ANBU HQ cafeteria, 1830 hours. A table in the center of the room. A tall, dark-haired young man jumps up onto the table and whistles very loudly between his teeth. As conversation falls quiet:]


Imagine most of you have prolly heard by now about the possibility of an ANBU porn video. Sorry to say that, due to budget constraints and high-level censorship, that film is not gonna happen. Actually I'm here to apologize for getting everyone all excited. Arakaki-san says that, uh, whatever we do in our free time is up to us and gods know he can't be held responsible for a bunch of hormonal teenagers, but if we besmirch the honor of Hokage-sama's elite squad--that's us, in case you didn't know; I didn't know we had honor, but apparently we do that too--by videotaping and selling our depraved indiscretions to the general populace, he'll personally hunt us down and feed us our own intestines. And that's pretty much a direct quote.

So that's my apology. My issue with this is that I never said it'd be official or ANBU or anything, just that people could contribute funds at ANBU HQ. Which I guess I should've been more specific, but anyway. There will not be an ANBU porn video. Whether there's one with some pals just getting it on--well, that's up to my investors to decide. Taking questions and contributions over in the corner!


[He grins, bows to the room at large, and jumps off the table.]

(Post a new comment)


[info]fallen_kotetsu
2008-07-01 06:51 am UTC (link)
Wait. Wait. Porn? Where? Dammit, why didn't anyone TELL me?

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]fallen_ryouma
2008-07-01 06:54 am UTC (link)
Obviously, you should drink more coffee. Sex and coffee go together, didn't you know?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]fallen_kotetsu
2008-07-01 06:57 am UTC (link)
I'd drink coffee if it was...

Hey, what's the link?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]fallen_ryouma
2008-07-01 07:03 am UTC (link)
Coffee's a well known aphrodisomething. At least, it totally worked for me.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]fallen_kotetsu
2008-07-01 07:10 am UTC (link)
Huh. I'll think about it...

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]fallen_ryouma
2008-07-01 07:16 am UTC (link)
Who you gonna try it on?

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[info]fallen_kotetsu
2008-07-01 07:35 am UTC (link)
Mmmhmm. I don't know. Don't know anyone I'd like to try it on. You know, I kinda like the people first, rather than the other things.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]fallen_ryouma
2008-07-01 07:50 am UTC (link)
And here you were all fired up about the porn, too. Guess that explains some things.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]fallen_kotetsu
2008-07-01 07:51 am UTC (link)
Huh? What? What's that got to do with it? I like seeing some of it. I mean, it's PORN. But when it gets to the real thing, I kinda like to know the person first.

[private] 'sides, never done anything before.[/private]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]fallen_ryouma
2008-07-01 08:04 am UTC (link)
So, speakin' all in hypotheticals, say we were making a video... Who'd you like to see in it? And how much'd you be willing to contribute?

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[info]fallen_kotetsu
2008-07-01 08:18 am UTC (link)
Uuuuuh.

THis is a tough question. it has to be ANBU, right? Since you said 'we' and that announcement...

I kinda havent' met any really good looking guys yet. Many. Anyway. >.> But entirely in hypotheticals? Cool ganger tattoos are nice. Like, really nice.

I'd contribute weeks pay if I didn't have to eat.

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[info]fallen_ryouma
2008-07-01 09:19 am UTC (link)
[Private]

...Not sure I thought this through all the way.

[/Private]

C'mon, ANBU's got loads of good-looking guys. Either you're not looking, or you got your standards set way too high. It is not hard to get action here.

...Speaking from, uh, the other side of the fence.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]fallen_kotetsu
2008-07-01 10:38 am UTC (link)
I don't like to name names. That sort of thing can get you into hot shit. >.>

But say, light hair is nice. Light coloured expressive eyes are nice too.

Combine them all! Whoo!

'sides, I'm not all just for action. Maybe I just like watching.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]fallen_ryouma
2008-07-04 10:46 pm UTC (link)
...So to summarize, you'd pay for a video with Ginta and me gettin' it on.

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[info]fallen_tsume
2008-07-01 06:50 pm UTC (link)
Oi, Coyot, I think he already mentioned ganger tattoos. I bet he's voting for your barenaked race later, too.

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[info]fallen_tsume
2008-07-01 06:52 am UTC (link)
Oi, Coyot! No one wants to admit it, but all the other dead rookies? They didn't invite Arakaki to their porn party, either. Try that next time. Might work better!

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[info]fallen_ryouma
2008-07-01 06:55 am UTC (link)
So you're saying next time I want something, I should strip down and lounge all beguiling-like on Arakaki's desk?

I'll keep that in mind.

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[info]fallen_tsume
2008-07-01 06:59 am UTC (link)
Hey, you completely should. I mean, you've got the stomach for it. I bet he's fond of tattoos. It might work!

...and if it doesn't, the rest of us will have entertainment as he chases your naked tail down the halls!

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[info]fallen_ryouma
2008-07-01 07:02 am UTC (link)
An' here you're saying you really just wanna see my naked tail, right?

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[info]fallen_tsume
2008-07-01 07:09 am UTC (link)
Why? There a running-naked contest you're gonna be in that I should know about? I'll bring a banner!

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[info]fallen_ryouma
2008-07-01 07:19 am UTC (link)
I appreciate your support. Really.

Takes place a couple of times a month, from the third floor men's showers to apartment 316, when I forget my towel. Guess I could try to arrange to forget it ahead of time, if you're gonnna be there...

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[info]fallen_tsume
2008-07-01 07:23 am UTC (link)
Oh, please. Arrange it ahead of time and let me know. I'll arrange for Kuromaru to meet you there! I bet a good nip in a sensitive spot or two will get you going, and you'll be a shoo-in to win!

I'll make sure to place some bets.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]fallen_ryouma
2008-07-01 07:53 am UTC (link)
Pretty sure that'd be considered cheating. Wouldn't mind the cheering, though.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]fallen_tsume
2008-07-01 08:02 am UTC (link)
In that case, I'll bring a flag. Maybe some noise makers. We'll get everyone out to watch.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]fallen_raidou
2008-07-01 09:10 am UTC (link)
...

I know some rookies like to make an impression, but that's just special. Do I even wanna know what poor girl you blackmailed into doing this with?

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[info]fallen_ryouma
2008-07-01 09:21 am UTC (link)
What makes you think I'd need blackmail?

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[info]fallen_raidou
2008-07-01 09:22 am UTC (link)
Too many reasons to count.

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[info]fallen_ryouma
2008-07-01 09:25 am UTC (link)
Wow. I'm wounded. Right here.

Did you hit your head just now? 'Cause usually your comebacks are a lot better than that.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]fallen_raidou
2008-07-01 09:28 am UTC (link)
Sorry, the image of you peddling screen-crack to twisted civilians was a lot to take on an empty stomach. Ninja have a limit, y'know.

I could always hit yours if you like, just to even the odds.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]fallen_ryuichi
2008-07-01 01:13 pm UTC (link)
Well. And they say nothing interesting ever happens in HQ. I should hang around more.

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[info]fallen_ryouma
2008-07-04 10:52 pm UTC (link)
HQ is a fascinatin' place. You just gotta know where to look.

Mostly I run into adventures in the showers. Things are always more interesting when you're naked.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]fallen_ryuichi
2008-07-04 11:16 pm UTC (link)
'suppose so.

.....part of me is morbidly curious. Do I want to know?

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]fallen_senbon
2008-07-03 05:50 am UTC (link)
So here's the deal, Rookie-chan. Arakaki-sama might even bankroll you if you approached him the right way. But you have to appeal to his tastes.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]fallen_ryouma
2008-07-04 10:50 pm UTC (link)
An' you're gonna tell me all about his tastes, right? Speaking from your vast and veteran experience.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]fallen_senbon
2008-07-04 11:25 pm UTC (link)
Of course. Especially since you're buying dinner.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

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